J and I were talking this morning about something else - and that will likely be a topic for a future entry as it was an interesting discussion. As an off-shoot of what we talked about the topic of this post came up. I had been giving it some thought lately anyway based on some Reddit discussions, so it was timely that we started talking about it.
I chose to transition probably 20 months or so, give or take - I'd have to check my emails and such to be certain, but that should be about right. As I said I've given this a lot of thought and despite the fact that I have NOT had GRS and do not intent to have BA or FFS, I think I consider my transition complete. While I didn't really give that thought prior to my Orchiectomy, I don't feel that had anything to do with it, I just happened to have some time to ponder things while we were on the trip as towards the end I was trying to let J get some sleep since she hadn't gotten much early on while being my "nurse".
Looking back I feel that my transition ended October 4th, 2013. Why that date? That's the date I went to court to get my name and gender legally changed. As I've discussed previously when I left court that morning my name legally became Madison. Now my gender change was "under consideration" for 30 days and didn't become final until November 6th, 2013; but that was basically a formality - it was informally granted on October 4th. It didn't sink in right away on the October 4th as I had (apparently incorrectly) assumed that the name change was not going to be effective for several weeks while it was published for three weeks as per the state statutes. However, when I went to sign some things for my lawyer before leaving court I started to sign my old name and she immediately corrected me and explained that once the judge signed the order it was effective immediately and once I finished signing the paperwork I'd get certified copies of the court order to change my license, birth certificate, and whatever else I needed/wanted to change. Even as the three of us - Susan my lawyer, J, and myself walked out I still don't think it had sunk in; but as the day progressed it did and I was as happy as I'd been in a very long time. Sort of silly to be so happy over changing a name, but I was - I was finally Madison and that did make me so very happy.
Even though I was so happy, I didn't really give any thought to my transition - I still used the term that I was transitioning as that's how I felt. I guess I had never really given any thought as to when my transition would be over - I guess I sort of assumed it would be the day I did have GRS. But looking back these last several days my outlook has changed. It doesn't matter that I haven't had GRS yet, or even if I ever do have it. I'm living as a woman, the state considers me a woman, the people that are important to me such as J, my daughter, and so on, consider me a woman. So not only do I feel my transition is over, looking back the date that it was over for me will always been October 4th, 2013. While I continue to try and be active in various communities such as Reddit and such I don't think I'll ever identify myself as a trans-woman any more - as far as I'm concerned I'm simply "a woman". Now if somebody wants to discuss cis-women (I still hate that term) versus trans-women - then fine I have no problem with being a trans-woman, but outside of that context - well I no longer see a use to differentiate myself from any other woman be it J, M, D, etc.
And hey, a post where I got to the subject before the third paragraph - if I had a baby book (yes J - I'm not letting that go - LOL) I'd put this moment in it. :)
- M
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