Attack Of The Hormones?

When I started HRT in December of 2012, I really didn't notice many changes (if any), to my emotions.  I see a lot of people that maintain they do and perhaps that's the case; although sometimes I wonder if at least part of that is the placebo effect.  As my dosages increased last year though I did start to see a little change.  I've always been a "closet crier" with things, but it was easy to keep under wraps; but by later in the year last year it was becoming more pronounced.  J and M both picked up on it as well, in fact sort of like the breast growth they noticed that well before I saw it myself.

In some ways those things were frustrating because I felt like I had somehow "lost control" of my emotions and while I won't sit here and say I was Yoda and had absolute control of my emotions, I do feel that I could handle them pretty well.  J, and M to an extent have tried to make me feel better - "it's part of being a girl" and "we deal with this every month", and such; and I guess maybe it is, but it's a part that has been harder to handle than perhaps I thought.

Now fast forward to today; It's been nearly two weeks since my orchiectomy (actually about 6:30am tomorrow would be two weeks from the time I walked out of the office sans the parts).  Without my testosterone producing buddies anymore and the fact that I'm still on the Spiro to suppress any that the rest of the body was producing (and I'm assuming that may change in May when I go to Columbia for my next visit with Dr. Swenson); I would assume that the Estradiol now has an easier time of things.  I haven't seen any sudden breast growth; although I'm not sure that I'd notice it if I had - when you look at something constantly - and not that I stare, but they were right in front of me - you don't tend to perceive change as well.  However, what I have seen, especially the last few days is a marked increase in emotional swings.  The littlest things have brought me to tears the last three days or so and it's been more than a bit disconcerting.  In the last three nights I've managed to fight with M and J as I've noted in earlier blog entries, as well as keep J up for a good extra hour last night because I was bawling over the fact that I had fought with her earlier.

I've always had what I'd generously refer to as "tender feelings" and as I've told J, they probably get hurt 10-20 times per day.  They still do, but now when they do I do find myself much more upset and much more likely to shed tears.  Now perhaps this is the placebo effect as I speculated above, but it's harder to make that call when it's happening to you and it is.  So I guess for now I will take J and M's advice and chalk it up to "being a girl" and it being "my time of the month" so to speak - albeit without the little "present" they each get. :)

- M