Perhaps that title doesn't really do what I'm about to write justice; but then again I am talking about two near and dear friends of 43 years - my testicles. We've had a long and interesting 43 years together; good, bad, and indifferent at times. However, over the last year or two we've grown apart. It's not them, it's me - I guess that's a typical "girly" answer to their question of what happened to our relationship isn't it? Granted we've been through things such as writhing on the ground in pain from them being kicked/kneed, my daughter's conception, and even a vasectomy. Special props to the boys for that - they handled it like troopers, with nary a complaint, even though I'm sure they weren't exactly happy about it.
Now here we are, a few hours over 11 days until the poor guys will make the ultimate sacrifice to try and make me a happier woman. I can't begin to tell them what their sacrifice means to me - I'd hope they would see this heartfelt post to them, but then again they can't read so I'm not sure how that would work. Boys, we've been through thick and thin, the good and the bad, and I'm sorry that it has to be this way as I'm sure a part of me will miss you both; but what you're doing for me means so much. Just know that I appreciate all that you've done for me; perhaps it would've been better for you to have had a different "host" - but I hope you see it like I've seen the first 42 years of my life. And that is despite my transitioning, I would NOT give up those first 42 years for anything as they did bring me my daughter, my wife, and even my ex-wife/best friend. They brought me experiences that I likely never would've had otherwise and they made me the person who I am today and the person I want to be going forward. I hope you two feel the same way, I'll never forget you both.
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Obviously the above was my (probably poor) attempt at some humor; if anyone finds it in poor taste I do apologize, but it's late and I needed a break from getting some work done and this seemed like a way to break some tension/apprehension I have about the upcoming Orchiectomy. It's all scheduled - Saturday the 15th - although I won't know the time for sure until a couple of days prior, but it looks like I'll have the 6am appointment. As I mentioned, the price is still $2500 which made me happy since I had read it was going up to $3000. We'll be in a hotel for three nights - the night before and the night after in the area, and one more night about halfway back home so I don't have to sit in the car quite so long. All three nights are comped with points I've accrued over the years, so that saved at least a few hundred dollars which means the only other expenses are gas and food which shouldn't be too bad - I'm guessing less than $300 total. There are a few miscellaneous things that I need; but we've already picked them up.
Now it's just a matter of waiting and I hate to wait. In hindsight I wish it could've been the 8th instead; but J couldn't get vacation that week and while we could have made it work with her days off, I think long term it's better to have pushed it to the 15th. It just means that I have 7 more days or 168 more hours or 10080 more minutes or 604800 more seconds to contemplate things. That last line is a joke for J since when I have to go out of town I mentally keep track of how long until I board a return flight or leave town if driving. When I'm overly lonely I'll start converting the days to hours or minutes or worse yet seconds and text them to her. It sounds silly typing it so I'm guessing it is silly, but it makes the time apart much more bearable.
I guess I should run now. Suffice it to say future posts will be more "on topic", I just needed a break from things and this in some silly way helped.
- M
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