- What should I wear to court for my name change?
My opinion on that is that you should wear something that you are comfortable with. For those of us who are MtF that might be a dress or skirt/blouse, for others perhaps not. What I will say is that you should dress "respectfully" for the court. Some judges simply won't care what you are wearing, but there are plenty who do and in my mind I see no reason to potentially antagonize a judge. So I'd recommend against things such as blue jeans, shorts, flip flops, etc. Now if that's all you have, then that's all you have, but even in that case try and look as presentable as you can. For me personally I chose to wear a dark skirt/blouse, dark hose, dark closed toed (conservative) heels, some light makeup, and light jewelry. I wanted to present as if I were heading to work for the day and I felt that I did; plus I wanted to "dress up" a bit as it makes *me* feel good to do so. Now because I was going to court for both a name and gender change I didn't end up with the typical family court judge. I did peek into that courtroom since we were early and I would have probably been a bit overdressed had that been where I was headed; but I would have been fine with that as I'd rather be overdressed than be under-dressed. The courtroom I ended up in only had the court personnel and several lawyers and I felt my outfit fit in with what the lawyers were wearing, including my own; though she had the courtroom cleared for my hearing so I guess it didn't matter.
- Do I need a lawyer for my name change?
That's obviously going to depend greatly on where you are going to court, but the general consensus is probably not. In fact, when I did my consultations for my name/gender change, I saw three lawyers and all three said that the process here was simple enough I could do it myself if I chose. However, the fact that I was trying to more or less go around the state statue on gender marker changes I felt I needed one. I won't say she was "cheap", but I felt she was worth every penny I paid her as she made the process incredibly easy for me. But if I had only been doing a name change I likely would have done it myself. The best thing I can say is that a great many lawyers do offer a free initial consultation and I'd recommend that it can't hurt to take advantage of that in your own jurisdiction. At worst you are out some time and at best you can get an idea of if you really do need/want an attorney for the process.
- Can I get my gender marker changed on my birth certificate?
Again that greatly depends upon where you were born. Here in the United States the laws vary from state to state. Some states the process is actually fairly easy, some states appear to not allow it at all, and some like my own have various requirements such as surgery. However, even in those states, the statutes are often ambiguous and in some cases that means with the right approach the change can be ordered by the courts when it might appear otherwise. In my case, my birth certificate wasn't overly important to me, but my license was, so that's why I pursued it. The fact that I do now have an updated birth certificate is nice, but in reality how many people will ever see that? My license being changed was what mattered to me and if I had been able to get it easily changed I likely would not have pursued the legal avenue I used.
- What if I can't get my birth certificate or drivers license gender marker changed?
Unfortunately many people run into this. I can't tell anyone what is best for them, but had if it had come to this for me I probably would have pursued getting my passport changed. The Federal government has greatly simplified the process over the last few years and the reality of things is that a Passport is often a better identification that a drivers license anyway. Now in my case I have not bothered to change mine since I was able to change my birth certificate and license, but it is on my list of things to get around to.
- Does my state/city/etc have Transgender protections?
Some do, most don't. But even for those that do, how good are they? There are plenty of employment protections out there for various things, but in a great many cases these mean little. If a company, or simply someone within the company, wants to get rid of an employee the reality is that it's generally very easy to do and very difficult to prove it was discriminatory. I'm not saying it's impossible to prove that, but it's almost always an uphill battle.
- My job is discriminating against me, should I sue?
This ties in with the above question and is one of my main agitations with the AskTransgender subreddit - everybody wants to tell people to get a lawyer and sue for the slightest thing. Again, I can't/won't tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do. What I will say is the following, and again I am not a lawyer, though my father-in-law is and I've solicited his thoughts as well. Long story short, proving discrimination for anything is often difficult at best, and when it comes to gender identity it's often virtually impossible to do. I'm by no means saying it cannot be done, as it can. But unless you literally have a "smoking gun", it's likely going to be a long and usually expensive process and the majority of the people I see asking this question are usually working entry level jobs and simply aren't going to have the resources for a protracted legal fight that they likely can't win. Now perhaps they can find an attorney that will take the case either pro bono or on a contingency basis, or perhaps a group that specializes in this sort of thing; but even then chances of proving discrimination is still likely a very uphill battle. And what happens if you do win? Do you really want to work for a company that you feel discriminated against you? Or if you end up with a financial gain (either via a win or a settlement) have you poisoned your future job prospects by doing so? And are you prepared to have your life put on display in court? Again, I'm not saying that anyone should or shouldn't pursue legal action, that's a decision that each individual needs to make, but you had better be sure that the potential benefit outweighs the risks of filing suit. I personally believe that if you absolutely feel you can/should sue then by all means do so, but I'd exhaust every other avenue first.
I think with that, I'll wrap this one up. Again, these are simply my experiences and/or opinions. Your experiences will obviously vary and you may well agree or disagree with my opinions (especially on the last two points) and that's fine. I'm by no means saying I'm right and/or anyone else is wrong, but this is how things have been for me and/or how I see things.
- M
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