Sacrifice

I had a therapist appointment this morning - this one came earlier than normal, only three weeks after my last one instead of the usual 2-3 months.  This was by design as I wasn't sure how I'd handle the orchiectomy and thought that just in case it might be good to go speak to Kelly.  I had looked ahead at J's work schedule to make sure she was off and could go with me.  Generally either her or M will come with me; but normally just to keep me company in the car.  However, this time I thought it might be good to have J come in as it had been a long while since she had visited with me.

The session itself was uneventful for the most part, we are both happy - as happy as I can remember either of us being.  But something was brought up that got me thinking and that was the fact that we tend to sacrifice for each other - quite a bit actually.  I'm sure many couples do, but I'm also sure that very few do it as consistently and often as we do for each other; but more importantly was the thought that we do it for each other with no strings attached, no resentment, no anything other than absolute true love for one another.  There's no tote board keeping score like a lot of people metaphorically do, it's just how we are - it's (virtually) always done without a second thought to what it might mean to ourselves.

I'm not here to talk about how wonderful we are; but rather the concept of how we view and treat each other.  We are invested in each others successes and failure, each others feelings, each others wants and desires.  We are willing to put those things above our own and as such while either of us may sacrifice things in the short term, in the longer term we get back far more than we could ever give as we not only normally obtain the things we need and want, be them tangible or non-tangible things - but we also have the love, compassion, caring, and support - among other things - from each other than no amount of money can buy.

This doesn't mean we don't have disagreements from time to time - I challenge any couple that has been together a significant amount of time to honestly say they don't as well.  But it never lasts more than a few minutes, we don't ever go to bed mad, in fact more often than not it's a debate as to which one of us apologizes more and tries to take responsibility for whatever happened.  The truth of the matter is that almost all the time it was in reality both of our responsibility when it comes down to it (there is an occasional exception to that) - and the reality is that both of us choose to stand up and own up to whatever we did (and usually more than what we did).  Each of us wants to make things right for the other.  Each of us wants to show our true love for the other.

Whether or not we are cuddling in bed, having a nice (or not so nice) meal, working out an "issue" that caused a disagreement, or whatever else we may be doing, the bottom line to anything is that we love and cherish each other; and we try and find the best in each other which allows us ourselves to each be our best for each other.  J, I know you read these sometimes and I just want to say you are the greatest gift ever bestowed upon me, I love and cherish you like no other, and want to spend the rest of my life with you.

- M