Friday, March 7, 2014

Being "Pretty" Around The House...

When I go out, be it by myself, or with any combination of J, M, or others; I want to look nice.  I imagine that's especially common among those of us transitioning from male to female.  Prior to my transition I was a relative slob, almost always wore khaki's and a polo, untied tennis shoes, and so on.  Now I want the outfit to be "just right" and I feel nice when it is.  The internal struggle I have is when I'm just around the house.  Now for me that's a lot of the time as I do work from home.

I've always had lots of excuses to not get "dolled up" when it's just going to be a typical day around the house, let me see how many come to mind:


  1. Why should I dirty the extra clothes?
  2. What if I spill something on them and ruin them?
  3. Even if I do get dressed, I look in the mirror and see a "male" face.
  4. I'll just (needlessly) waste a bunch of makeup.
  5. Shaving every day hurts my face.
  6. Without having my own hair, I think I look like a cross-dresser.
  7. If everybody else is at work or sleeping (for those on the night shift) and there's nobody to see me what does it matter?
  8. I feel silly walking around the house in nice clothes and shoes.
I think that's probably enough to give you an idea of what was going through my mind.  The thing is as time has passed those excuses seem to have become less valid - let's visit each of them:

  1. Valid point, but considering that J & I do laundry every week regardless, I guess that really doesn't matter now does it?
  2. It's called being more careful.  And in the event that I'm not, well that's life.  I could just as easily ruin something going to the store or out to dinner or whatever else.  Life happens.
  3. That one - well that one is a two part issue and it's the amount of facial hair and the lack of hair on my head.  Let me address this one in points 4/5/6 below.
  4. Maybe, but there's no reason I have to use my "nice" makeup.  I could use some cheap drugstore makeup for around the house.  Yeah maybe it won't look quite as nice; but it also won't cost all that much and truthfully I could use the practice.
  5. Let me qualify, regular shaving isn't too bad, but when I know I'm going out I shave twice - both with and against the grain and it does irritate my face.  However, the laser hair treatments have *significantly* affected this and now it's not so much of an issue.  I'm not saying I want to shave 365 days a year; but recently there have been times where I've went out 3-4 days straight and I've been fine, so I guess we can mark this one off the list now too.
  6. Valid point, but considering I have several wigs now that I like - well not so much of an excuse anymore then is it.
  7. Again a valid point on the face of things.  But considering that looking nice does make me feel happy and better about myself, I guess that should be enough.  Another excuse now show down.
  8. Yes, maybe I should feel silly walking around in a cocktail dress and stilettos around the house; but what's wrong with a cute skirt or some capris or something along with a nice top?  And for that matter a nice pair of flats, a cute pair of wedges, or some nice pumps?  It's not like I'd be the only woman doing it; I know some that would happily run around in a nightgown all day if they could; but I also know ones that do get up and look nice the entire day as well; so why should I feel silly?
So while I've basically shot all of those reasons down and have made the case that I can/should do it because it makes me happy; that wasn't quite enough of a reason for me.  However, I have finally found a reason that is enough to make me want to start doing looking nice on a consistent basis.  And that's my wife J.  She goes out of her way to look nice for me, even on her days off; so why shouldn't I be doing the same back for her?  She does work long shifts and I know she's tired when she comes home so I've almost always got dinner ready for her when she walks in; but why shouldn't I be capable of looking nice for her too?  Not that she's ever complained about how I look around the house; but shouldn't she get what she gives when it comes to this?  After thinking about it, my answer would be yes; so going forward she's going to get that effort out of me not only when we're going out, but every day of the week.

I know not everybody can do that or even would want to, but for those with a doting partner at home I think it's at least worth considering.  :)

- M




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