UPDATE: Since the "prior" posts links were getting a bit long, there is now a page with links to all of the posts: My Transgender Experiences. Additionally, I've went back and added more links and made some updates to some of the individual entries below since over time some things have changed.
Services:
- Missouri DMV (Wentzville, Missouri) - I've been in there three times in the last six months; the first was in October to get my name changed. Since I did *not* have my gender change yet (it was "under consideration" still), I did *NOT* go in as Madison. I had a bit of an issue since the court order had my name reversed; not just my new name, but my birth name as well. After pointing that out and having four or five people read the court order from beginning to end they finally changed my name. They were *NOT* rude or anything, it was just a bit tedious. I went back last month, a couple of days after I met the six month threshold for an actual renewal. I wanted to get it renewed as Madison, but still as a "male" for a couple of reasons which aren't really relevant, but it was a quick and easy trip; probably about five minutes from the time I pulled up until the time I was back in my car. This past Thursday morning, I was finally ready to go get my gender marker changed and a new picture. J and I got there a couple of minutes after open and I was able to go directly up. I had my court order and amended birth certificate in hand, both of which I presented. Below there is a picture of how I was dressed; it's the same picture from my last post as I went to the Doctor after this. Well the birth certificate didn't seem to matter, the (very nice) woman - the same one I've had the prior two times, read over it and then excused herself, I'm assuming to go speak to a supervisor. She returned shortly and started processing it. She had some sort of issue and had to go get someone else to come do something on the computer, but past that it went fairly smoothly. She did actually scan my court order, which surprised me since that had not happened with my name change court order, but no big deal. She did ask me if I wanted a new photo, which obviously I did. All told it was probably a 15 minute process. The "highlight" was a gentleman that came in while I was having this done and was talking with J. Apparently part-way through the conversation he asked her if I was her "wife" which J confirmed. Now at this point he had only seen me from the back so I'm assuming I passed 100% - I normally do from the rear, LOL. Not sure what he thought when I turned around, but it was good for a laugh when we got into the car and she shared it with me. All in all, this particular DMV office is always quick and efficient, even if there was one closer I'd still come out to this one.
Restaurants:
- St. Louis Wing Co (St. Louis, Missouri) - I need to correct an oversight on my part, we've been here two or three times with me presenting as Madison, I think I even mentioned it in a prior blog entry, but I've never made reference to it in one of these posts. The food is great, we usually get the all you can eat boneless wings with fries and a drink (I believe it's $11.99 or $12.99 if you want cheese fries). To start, you get two flavors of BONELESS wings (5 or 6 pieces I forget), an order of fries and a drink. From there you can get one additional order at a time. They have tons of flavors and all that I've tried are exceptional. I really like the honey bbq and marinara w/ parmesan, but I don't think you could go wrong with any of them. The staff has been *exceptionally* polite *every* time I've been here. It's one of our favorite places to go both for the chicken and for how I'm treated. :)
- Outback Steakhouse (O'Fallon, Missouri) - .I've been here twice recently, once with M after a shopping outing, and once with both J and M after we had our eyebrows done a couple of weeks ago. Both times it was so that they could get the steak and lobster special. Both were also for lunch on the weekend and the food and service were both excellent and just as with the Wing Co above, I was treated just as any other woman. In fact, the first time with just M, our server actually gave her the check which made me giggle. These two restaurants have both been great and I cannot recommend them enough.
- Ruby Tuesday (O'Fallon, Missouri) - We've also been here twice recently, first J and I after an evening laser appointment and then M, J, and I for some reason - I believe it was because M had done me a favor or something. Again it was so that they could get some lobster tails. One of the appeals for Ruby Tuesday was that they still have a salad bar (well "garden bar"). It doesn't have a ton of choices, but enough for me to make a decent salad. We also shared some lobster dip which was very good. Again, service was excellent both times - which was a bit of a surprise since the first time was late on a Tuesday evening (maybe a hour prior to close) the second was an open on a Saturday morning. Food was also very good. Now the first trip I was dressed "Androgynously" since it was a face laser night, so no makeup and no wig since it gets in the way of the numbing cream - bit the second I was presenting as Madison and could not have been treated nicer. Another place we'll be returning too. As a side note, if you sign up for their email list, they send out fairly decent coupons such as buy an entree get one 50% off and the like, and unlike some places (DEB Shops - I'm talking about you), they don't blast you with constant emails. Highly recommended.
UPDATE: This location has closed and has since been replaced by a Denny's which we have not visited. It's a shame as we were always happy with our experiences here. - Longhorn Steakhouse (Chesterfield, Missouri) - J and I stopped here for lunch on our way back from the DMV / Doctor appointments last Thursday. We arrived a bit after noon and they were semi-busy. Our service was good, not great, but good. In fact J and I debated this when I asked for her input on a tip. She (nor I) really felt our server stood out, but neither of us could find anything that he did wrong either (in case anybody cares, we settled on 18% which was the middle of the "suggested" amounts on the receipt). The food was good, I had a combo with a 1/3lb burger and a caesar salad, it came with some potato ships with some sort of cheese sauce on them that was *VERY GOOD*. I ended up giving most of them to J as I wasn't very hungry after the experience at the Doctor, but next time we go I'll have to see if the appetizer listed is the same thing and if so we'll probably get it. While the service itself could be debated, I was treated very nicely, just as with all the restaurants listed in this update. Other than being a bit pricier than I had envision for lunch that day, it was good, I was treated nicely, and we will be back.
- Bandana's BBQ (Chesterfield, Missouri) - J and I ate here on our trip back from my surgery. We hit there in the early afternoon (around 2pm) or so, so they were very slow. Our food was very good, albeit we were a touch agitated as just before our food was to come out we were informed that they had sold a bunch of the pork and didn't have enough for her order. However, they ended up giving her what they had along with something else, so it was handled as well as I believe it could have been. Our service was above average, not exceptional, but good enough for us to be happy. Our server was exceptionally polite and I felt very comfortable being there. Once again, we will return.
Retailers:
- Sears (Mid Rivers Mall, St. Peters, Missouri) - M and I went shopping recently at Mid Rivers Mall and among the stores we visited were Sears. We got there shortly after opening so the store was still very slow; but it was a very pleasant experience. I did also use the bathroom there as Madison with no issues. Anybody reading this who is not a trans-woman/trans-man, well you may not understand the stress involved with something as simply as a trip to the bathroom, but it does tend to be stressful for a lot of us. Hopefully once I get my physical license in the next week or so with the infamous "F" for gender, I'll be more comfortable, but for now it's still hard for me; but no issues here - well other than the handicapped stall which I tried to use had a broken lock. :)
- Claire's (Mid Rivers Mall, St. Peters, Missouri) - M and I also visited here and picked up several things. Again it was early so they weren't very busy, but the experience was very good - just like it seems to be about everywhere I go.
- Beauty Brands (St. Charles, Missouri) - M and I visited here the day we hit Outback above. Now as I've mentioned in earlier entries, the location in Wentzville has always been great. This location, well not so much. The staff was borderline rude, we had stopped in there for some new OPI nail polish that M wanted - it had been announced in an email a couple of week ago. It wasn't out, it seemed to put them out to go get it, and I felt very uncomfortable in there. Considering I bought M four bottles of polish at $9/bottle, it would've been nice if they had been nicer. I'm not sure if it's just the general attitude in that location or if they found me "offensive" in some way, but regardless we won't be visiting this location again.
- Home Depot (O'Fallon, Missouri) - J and I had ran in here to get a couple of things - mainly some tiles to put under my computers for my new work desks. They were polite, although I definitely got a few stares from employees. It wasn't enough to keep me from going back, but definitely enough that I noticed which is something that rarely happens anymore.
- GFS Marketplace (St. Peters, Missouri) - I've been in here a few times, with M, with J, with both, and even alone. Experiences have always been very good, the staff is always polite and helpful. We don't shop there a whole lot as they cater to more food service, daycare, etc., types of businesses which means large portion sizes, but for the things we do use - especially if you catch them on sale, well it's a good place to shop in those cases. I would never hesitate to shop there on my own.
I think that will do for now. :)
- M
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