While I should probably be working on J's dinner at the moment, I've got it mostly prepped and she hasn't dinged me that she's leaving work so I thought I'd kill some time here. I've got a couple of other topics that need to get finished, one a "submissive update" since that is among the most popular topics I write about; and the other being another post in my little "Transitioning 101" series - this one about "bathrooms", but those are probably left for another time when I know I can finish them without interruptions. I initially had envisioned this topic as more of a "current events" topic covering my thoughts on things such as the Confederate Flag, the recent Supreme Court decision on same sex marriage, and a few other things - including some thoughts on Caitlyn Jenner. However, the longer I thought about things, the more I felt that my thoughts on Caitlyn Jenner - specifically with regards to the LGBT community towards her - could more than fill out a post on their own, so here I am.
I will say that I almost didn't write on this topic as I'm sure my views may not be popular with many who do read this blog - but after thinking about that, if I can't share my own thoughts here then where can I share them. As always I'm always open to discuss alternative views, and I know that many have them on this topic, so feel free to comment publicly or privately if you so desire. I'll also say that I'll probably ramble some (well more than normal) on this subject as I haven't taken the time to gather my thoughts as much as I should. So that being said, let me start by sharing a couple of personal thoughts regarding Ms. Jenner. I know how I felt over the probably 30 years that I envisioned transitioning to a woman before I actually was able to, so I'm incredibly happy for her that she's now able to transition and live as herself. For that matter, I'd even go as far as saying I'm perhaps a touch jealous. I feel that she looks great and appears to be very happy. Not that I'm not happy, I am - at least for the most part; but she definitely looks far better than I ever will.
And that actually leads me into the point I most wanted to talk about and that is some of the vitriol I've seen directed her way. And I'm not talking about the (unfortunate) typical stuff from the world in general; but rather what I've seen from some in the Transgender community itself. Look, I get it. She's wealthy and famous enough to be able to do things that some/many/most of us who are transitioning may never be able to. Obviously she dropped a lot of money on FFS - I've seen estimates in the $70,000 price range; and for the vast majority of us transitioning that's simply not feasible. But it frustrates me to no end to see her getting ripped on by some in the Transgender community because she has the means to be able to afford to spend that kind of money towards her transition. I know if I had that kind of financial wherewithal, I'd probably not only have already had GRS; but I'd like have had FFS, BA, and maybe even voice surgery. And truthfully how many Trans-women wouldn't do the same if they were in Ms. Jenner's position? I'm sure there is at least someone out there who would choose to be completely altruistic and do little or even nothing for themselves and dedicate all of their resources to others, but truthfully how many really would? Maybe before condemning her for choosing to have had the FFS, or anything else she chooses to do, the people doing so should give that some thought before saying anything else derogatory towards her regarding this.
Another sore point with me are people condemning Ms. Jenner for "not being a part of the community". I do try and avoid putting words in others mouths, but it appears that a lot of the criticism on this point comes from some of the things Ms. Jenner says and/or how she says them. Look, I cannot speak for her, maybe she doesn't consider herself part of the "community"; and if so I suppose a case could be made that she truly isn't due to her financial and social standing. But personally, I don't believe that and I think those that are using things she's said to come to that conclusion should perhaps give her the benefit of the doubt at this point. Could some of the things she's said been said better and/or more eloquently? Probably. But can any of us say we've never said things that we couldn't have said better? And I'm talking about the population in general. For those of us who have, are, or are considering transitioning, I think saying things that could be said better is a reasonably common occurrence. I know for myself that once J and I decided that transition was right for me/us, that I went through a time where I was guilty of this. I was excited, I was anxious, I was a lot of things; and as such I didn't always take enough time to think about some of the things I said and did. Did that make me a bad person? I don't think so. My intentions weren't bad, nor do I believe Ms. Jenner's to be bad. Can I say that with 100% certainty? Of course not, but until she out and out proves me to be incorrect on this I for one am going to err on her side.
But regardless of if she is or isn't a part of the "community", and regardless of my feelings towards the entire Kardashian clan, I do think Ms. Jenner has been an overall plus for the "community" to this point. Yes, in many ways she's an exception due to her financial and social status and as such she doesn't have the struggles that some/many/most of us in the community do. However, if nothing else, she's increased the visibility of the community and I believe that to be a good thing. Not everybody can be a Janet Mock for example.
I guess I should cut this off, I didn't get it finished before I had to work on J's dinner and it's not 5am and I've been up for a couple of hours prepping her breakfast and lunch for work and I need to get back to that. I know I rambled here (more than usual), but I really do think that by and large that at least to this point that Caitlyn Jenner deserves better than she's gotten from many in the LGBT community and that's disappointing to me.
- M
No comments:
Post a Comment