I will be posting current experiences going forward as they happen; but there have been a lot of (almost all positive) experiences during those past 15 months that I feel like I should share. Again, just because I've had a positive - or not so positive - experience with any of the people/businesses below does not mean anyone else will have the same experience and/or opinions. These are simply my experiences and thoughts on them, please read/use them for what they are. I've tried to provide locations for all of the entries here and websites for those that aren't "National Chains" since an experience at a single location does not necessarily indicate a company-wide ideology.
UPDATE: Since the "prior" posts links were getting a bit long, there is now a page with links to all of the posts: My Transgender Experiences. Additionally, I've went back and added more links and made some updates to some of the individual entries below since over time some things have changed.
Websites:
- Susan's Place - As I mentioned in my welcome post, I have since deleted my account; however, it was an excellent resource for me early on. I simply felt I didn't really "fit in" there for some reason and while there is a lot of activity there, a great deal of it falls into simple banter and/or "mutual feel-good" stuff. For me personally, I'd rather get "honest" feedback on how I look, etc., and not simply hear "you look great" which is predominantly what goes on. That being said, I would strongly suggest checking it out - you may not find it to your liking, but it can't hurt to at least take a look.
- Laura's Playground - I haven't spent a whole lot of time there, but it does seem to be a very good site and I did get the contact information for the Doctor I'm seeing for my HRT there. Doesn't seem as busy as Susan's Place; but it also seems to have less "chatter" as well which some may prefer.
Services:
- Exquisite Threading (Clayton, Missouri) - I would HIGHLY recommend them for eyebrow threading. I had heard that it was more painful than waxing; but my experience is that it's not; and not only are they incredibly friendly; it's a very quick process and the results are awesome. I have naturally thick eyebrows with little or no arch and they manage to give me nice feminine eyebrows with at least some arch. I never had results this good with waxing. I cannot recommend them enough. I believe their current price for threading is $12 (may be $1 more for a credit card); and if you get their punch card I believe every 7th one is free.
- Kelly Storck LCSW (Webster Groves, Missouri) - I've been seeing Ms. Storck for the last 14 months or so - initially every other week, then once a month, now approximately every three months. She's an excellent therapist with significant experience dealing with gender issues. I've never really bought into therapy, but my time with Kelly has made change my views on that. I couldn't imagine another therapist who could make me feel as comfortable as Kelly has, and she provided a very well written letter for my HRT as well as a "carry letter" to keep with me.
- Dr. Amanda Swenson (Green Meadows Clinic, Columbia, Missouri) - I obtained Dr. Swenson's information from the aforementioned Laura's Playground and I am incredibly happy with her. I had obtained the names of several Doctor's familiar with HRT in the St. Louis area on my own; and Ms. Storck provided the names of a couple of more; but they were all male and I prefer seeing a female Doctor. The fact that she is in Columbia was not an issue for me as I spent a year at Mizzou and am familiar with the town and while it's twice as far for me as downtown St. Louis, I find that I enjoy the drive. They are incredibly efficient there - in fact if I lived closer I would probably try and see her as my GP as well; they've always referred to me as Madison even though up until two weeks ago that wasn't my legal name which meant a lot. And I know it probably sounds silly, but the fact that on the initial paperwork they had a "Transgender" option under "Gender" instantly made me comfortable that they were familiar with dealing with Transgender issues.
UPDATE: Green Meadows Clinic has "closed". The University of Missouri has opened a nice new building a few blocks down the street - the South Providence Medical Park - and the staff (most if not all) has moved down the street to this new building, including Dr. Swenson. I detail this in the 12th entry in this series HERE).
- Susan Jacobsen (Attorney, Brentwood, Missouri) - Ms. Jacobsen assisted me with my legal name (and gender) change recently. While no lawyer is "cheap", I found her rates very reasonable and her "bedside manner" has been wonderful. She provides a free consultation, and when we discussed what I wanted she even took the time to explain that I could do all of it on my own if I chose. Personally, I know people who have, but I was more comfortable with legal representation (I wouldn't overhaul my own engine or perform my own surgery either) and choose to utilize her services and couldn't be happier.
Restaurants:
- Chevy's Fresh Mex (O'Fallon, Missouri) - Frankly this is one of my few poor experiences on this list. The visit in question was about 14-15 months ago, right as I made the decision to transition. My best friend and I had lunch with a good friend who is also transitioning herself. It was one of my first times out as Madison so I was more than a little nervous as it was. The three of us met for an early lunch on a Saturday and our server obviously took offense to us. My best friend is a cis-woman, and the friend we met is virtually 100% passable, so I assume that it was me that offended the server's sensibilities. She was fairly rude and went out of her way to avoid our table despite the fact that we got there right at open and she only had one other table which she visited twice as often as ours. We did complain to their "corporate" office and ended up receiving a call from the store manager who my best friend spoke with and came away with the feeling that he was simply calling so he could say he did and not because he really cared about our issues. While this may have been an issue with our particular server; the conversation with the manager told me that this wasn't a business worthy of my patronage. Again, this was simply my experience and it may well have been isolated; but there are plenty of places in the area to get Mexican food without the poor service we received at Chevy's.
- 54th Street Grill & Bar (Wentzville, Missouri) - I've had very good experience here and we love the food. We often hit there after 9pm and (most of) their appetizers are $4.99 at that point. In fact we visited there tonight, and the service was once again stellar as was the food. I've probably been there 10 times as Madison and never had an issue with being correctly gendered or had any attitude like we had at Chevy's above.
- El Azteca (O'Fallon, Missouri) - We've only been there for their lunch buffet which is the only Mexican buffet I've ever been to. The food has always been good and everyone has been incredibly polite and friendly.
UPDATE: It "appears" that they no longer do the lunch buffet which is a shame as it was quite good as far as buffets go. We have NOT been there for a regular dine-in experience, though I'm sure we will in the future.
- China Buffet (Wentzville, Missouri - next to QuikTrip and Steak-n-Shake) - We've been here a significant amount of times with me as Madison and as with the above two entries never an issue. It does seem that the employees take a little more "interest" in me than most restaurants; but not enough to bother me, so I just chalk it up to curiosity.
- Hibachi Grill & Buffet (St. Peters, Missouri - behind McDonald's at the Cave Springs exit) - Better food than the above buffet and less "interest" in me. We simply don't go here as often as it is a bit more expensive; but the bigger reason is that the drive is about double the distance.
Retailers:
- Sephora (West County Mall, St. Louis, Missouri, And Columbia Mall, Columbia, Missouri) - The first Sephora on this list is a stand-alone store; the one in Columbia Mall is inside of a J.C. Penny's store. I had a "makeover" at the West County Mall location and the associate that did it was wonderful. She took the time to explain what she was doing, why she was doing it, and answered all of my questions. The makeover is "free" if you buy a certain amount of cosmetics (I know I bought way more than I needed to achieve that). The Columbia Mall visit was to try out their ColorIQ foundation system. Frankly it didn't work well for me - perhaps my skin was irritated from the shaving I had to do, or something else - but instead of leaving it at that, the young lady that assisted me (Jordan) took the time to manually find a foundation that matched wonderfully. Once she did, she redid my face with the new foundation (you have to remove what you have on to use the ColorIQ) and again explained the techniques she was using and why she was and how she would do them personally (for example she used a sponge to apply it to me, but she recommended using my fingers when doing it myself). I can't say enough about how wonderful and non-judgmental the store personnel at both locations have been. Their stuff isn't cheap; but it's generally worth the investment and the treatment I get is simply icing on the cake.
- MAC (Plaza Frontenac - Frontenac, Missouri) - I initially visited here for help in picking out a neutral lipstick I could wear when I first started to transition. A wonderful young lady (Kimmy) went above and beyond to help me pick out an appropriate shade as well as showing me how to apply it via a brush versus directly from the tube (not to mention teaching me about and how to use lip liner). I'd probably visit here more often; but West County mall is more appealing to me than Plaza Frontenac - it's not an indictment of Sephora over MAC - I consider them both to be great places to shop - both for TG and non-TG people.
- Deb (St. Louis Outlet Mall, Hazelwood, Missouri, And Mid Rivers Mall, St. Peters, Missouri) - I have had nothing but great experiences at both locations. While I am losing weight, I'm still good sized and they have plenty of attractive options that fit and again everybody has been incredibly polite and helpful. While the styles are probably a little "young" for my age; it's simply my favorite place to shop for clothes.
UPDATE: Deb Shops closed their retail presence several months ago which is a huge shame as it was one of my favorite retailers. In the interim they apparently have re-opened an online presence of some sort, though I have not tried that as I prefer to purchase clothing in person.
It's really late, so I'm going to cut this off here; but I'll post a "part 2" of this list in the next day or two.
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