So far my posts have focused on my experiences out in public with strangers; but I would be remiss if I didn't discuss how things have went with friends and family. This post initially started to explain how I ended up today; but frankly it's a *very* long story and probably not really relevant. If there is ever any interest I may actually detail it then, but for now suffice it to say that with regards to my family, I have what most people consider a "strange" living arrangement. We have a nice sized house that myself, my daughter (from my first marriage), and my current wife live in. Additionally we have two roommates - my ex-wife and her husband.
Again, without going into a ton of detail, my ex-wife and I were horrible as a husband/wife; but we are friends now (not that there wasn't some contentious times during the separation/divorce). It's allowed our daughter to grow up in a single household and there is/was always somebody around to keep an eye on her (often to her dismay).
Initially it was my house; but over time, but my ex-wife and I have each remarried to someone else and now after a refinance (thanks Vinson Mortgage), it's now all of our houses (well almost, my daughter isn't on the paperwork) and while there are occasional times of discord; all in all we get along pretty well and it's a nice arrangement. Frankly, we have a lot of things that we wouldn't have if we lived apart; so from that perspective it also works out nice.
As far as my physical family, I have had no contact with my father for at least 10-15 years; my Mother and Sister (to this day they are attached at the hip still) for a good 5 years; and no other family for far longer than that save a couple of exceptions below.
The first exception is my brother and his family - which includes his wife, a son (the oldest), and two daughters. The middle child (his older daughter) was always a favorite of mine growing up. She tracked me down on Facebook a few years ago (pre-transition) and we kept in touch. Speaking of Facebook, several members of my extended family on my Father's side have done the same; but there is no actual interaction - I simply accepted the requests and left it at that. Back to my brother's family - we ran into them a few months ago in a Wal-Mart - it was funny since we never quit going to the one 2 miles from here since everybody works there (sans me) and I didn't want to cause any issues with my transition - specifically for my daughter or my wife since she was trying to get into their management program (which she since has and is an Assistant Manager at a store about 30-40 minutes from here). Normally we go to the Wentzville location - I'm not really sure why, but we do. However, on that evening we had headed to O'Fallon. Now, I was living what I considered "full-time" at the time; but my face was really broken out from a laser treatment a day prior so I couldn't wear makeup and as such I elected to skip the wig (I have to wear a wig, genetics has NOT been kind to me in that regard) and while I was wearing women's clothing, shoes, jewelry, and my nails were done I was basically what I considered "androgynous" that. As we were going down an isle, I hear my (non "Madison") name and spin around to see my brother's older two children, which included the niece I referenced earlier. A couple of minutes later my brother and his wife appeared; we spoke for maybe 10 minutes (blocking an aisle horribly) and then went on our ways.
That evening, they tracked down my "Madison" account on Facebook and I accepted their requests since the "cat was out of the bag" so to speak. We interacted back and forth for several weeks, including a very nice note from my sister-in-law about how happy my niece was to see me and such.
Out of the blue, it appeared that my sister and mother made contact with my brother and his family (I have no idea who initiated it - nor do I really care); but I started seeing all sorts of photos with them together out and about. Really that's none of my business and I don't care; but the contact I had with my niece and the rest suddenly came to a grinding halt. I'm not really sure why; but I have to believe it had to do with my mother and sister. As I mentioned above, I cut my mom off several years ago over an incident with my daughter and as such my sister was collateral damage since they're attached at the hip despite my sister being in her mid thirties. I've received emails from my sister maybe twice in five years; once to change her wi-fi password (which I helped her with) and once looking to borrow money (which I offered to do; but not as much as she asked for, so she declined).
I have to assume the sudden lack of communication with my niece, etc., was due to my mother and/or sister. Truth be told, it *really* hurt my feelings at first; I wondered what I could have possibly done. I've finally came to the conclusion that I didn't do anything; and if that's how it's going to be then so be it. I have a surrogate family here and am happy with that. Do I wish it were different? Yes, by all means; but I no longer really give it a second thought (except for this post).
I think I've went on long enough for this. Tomorrow I'll detail the contact I've had with my "extended family" - it's (currently) a happier story than this one is.
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