Life As A Submissive Trans-Woman

I wrote an entry many months ago (HERE) about being both submissive and a trans-woman.  For whatever reason, over 7 months later it's still one of the most popular entries on this blog.  I'm not really sure as to why since it was a fairly generic entry, but due to it's popularity I thought I'd revisit what I wrote there and perhaps expand on it some.

As I mentioned in the original post, both J and I are naturally submissive.  Additionally we've both spent time as a submissive to others, although for various reasons she was far more immersed in the lifestyle than I ever was.  While there are submissives out there who can easily "flip a switch" and become a domme (for practical purposes, I will use the word domme throughout, as I've always dealt with female dominants, but most if not all of this would apply to a male dom as well) - for a great many (most?) of us, that is a difficult proposition at best.

Both J and I have tried to be the dominant partner multiple times over our eight years together and we've both failed multiple times.  But this time it's been working out much better.  Is it working as well as either of us want?  No, I don't think so, but it's doing well enough that both of us are committed to it and to making it better and better.  Now why isn't it as good as either of us would like?  I believe there are two main reasons for that.  The first being as I discussed above, it's simply hard for many submissives to be able to be a dominant partner.

However, the bigger issue, and one that I don't think either of us had ever really thought about before is that my time as a submissive had always been as a male submissive to a domme; and her time had always been as a female submissive to a dom.  Each of our dominants had their own likes and dislikes and as such each of us experienced significantly different things for the most part.  Yes there were some overlaps, but less than I would have thought.  Due to this, we each learned to like and dislike particular things which now years later for each of us makes things more difficult.  As an example, J enjoyed being spanked as a submissive, whereas I did not - I tend to see it as something that is necessary at times to address an issue, and at those times I welcome it, but I would never really say I enjoy it.  Well perhaps never is too strong a word, so lets go with very seldom.  That's simply one example, there are many others.

One might think that this would lead to compromise, but therein lies a problem - at least for me.  I feel that if J compromises on things when it comes to this that fundamentally she's giving in to me and is no longer the dominant to my submissive.  Perhaps that's not really a fair assessment, but it's how I see it.  Her viewpoint is significantly different on this topic and as such it does make things more difficult and less successful for both of us.  It's gotten better over time, but it is still a challenge to this day and I hope at some point it becomes less of one for both of us.

I don't want to delve too far into specifics - my submissive blog that she requires me to write in occasionally is a better place for that anyway.  However, the question has come up as to what kinds of things do *I* like.  Well the list is fairly varied, as I said I'm not really a fan of spanking and such, at least not outside of being used to correct a behavior/failing.  I like to be restrained, the more secure the better.  I love sensory deprivation.  I used to really like the forced cross-dressing stuff, but these days that really doesn't have any affect anymore for obvious reasons.  The list is long and varied.

But there's more to what I like than the obvious physical things.  I do like to be humiliated / talked down to / etc.  I've had a bad habit over the years of doing that to others and I almost consider it something like penance for doing that all that time.  I like to be put in a position to fail / no-win situation.  I've always been the kind of person who can "do anything" for the most part, and being put in no-win situation and being setup to fail and subsequently be punished for that, well that works well for me.  I like to be kept busy - especially with tedious tasks.  I'm the kind of person normally who would never do tedious things, so being made to do them works well for also.  There's plenty more, but those are some of the things that I like and/or work well for me.  We don't necessarily do any/all of them at any given time(s), but over time all of those things have come into play.

It's getting late so I'm going to cut this off now.  If this entry shows as much interest as the other entry then perhaps I'll write more here about things and get into more detail.  Otherwise I'll try and get back to the regular content I tend to put here.

- M