Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Traveling As A Transgender Woman...

A very nice piece about traveling as a Trans-Woman was shared on my Google+ feed yesterday.  I would publicly thank the wonderful woman who shared the piece, but I don't like to name names here as I'm not about to violate somebody's privacy, or even worse out somebody, but if the kind woman who shared this is reading - thank you very much for doing so; it was a nice piece.

I do want to give my two cents on this as while I really do not like to travel, I have to for work on occasion, and J and I traveled to Michigan (albeit by car) for my orchiectomy and my experiences were much better than what is discussed in the piece I linked above.  Now let me say, I by no means am trying to imply that what is in that article isn't true - in fact just the opposite - I'm fairly certain it is.  I've read far too many accounts of those kinds of things going on and it greatly disturbs me that those things are occurring.  The most troubling parts of the article to me were the poor experiences with the TSA, and truthfully I've read about much worse ones than that.  And it's not confined to just those who are Trans-Women (or Trans-Men), there are plenty of cisgender men/women/children who have had poor experiences as well.  I would like to think that we all want to be safe when we travel, especially when we fly; but I firmly believe that this can be accomplished with respect and dignity on the TSA's part and far too often that doesn't happen.

Now, as I said above, I've traveled for work several times since I chose to transition.  Despite the fact that my job is not supportive of things, I am able to travel as Madison.  This is generally due to the fact that because of where we live the flight options are more limited than I'd like; and as such it normally means that I have to fly in a day early.  As much as that used to agitate me, now it's a plus as I can travel as Madison as I've got the balance of that first day to do as I please and I don't have to be "face to face" with anyone in regards to work.  Flying back can be more of a challenge as generally I try to catch a flight out on my last day out of town - even if it's a very late flight - versus spending an extra night and flying out the next day.  Now in some cases I do have to spend one last night there and if so it makes it easier to fly out as Madison since I can get a decent nights sleep and have time to get ready the next morning.  However, if I am able to make an evening flight I can still generally find time to change from my <old name> presentation to Madison.  Now in those cases that may mean I might not have time to really get on my regular makeup and have to make do with just some basics like foundation and lipstick, and I may or may not be able to deal with my wig.  In those cases I'm definitely not as passable as I normally might be, in some cases maybe they read me as a woman anyway, but I doubt it - probably more as just someone who's cross dressing.  In those cases I tend to eschew my normal skirt/dress and heels and go with jeans and flats, but I still feel better about myself than I would if I just up and presented as <old name>.  Even in those cases though, the TSA (and everyone else) is still very polite and hasn't given me any issues, although I might get a few strange looks in the concourses. :)

But back to the topic at hand which is about traveling as a Trans-woman.  My experiences with the TSA have always been very good.  Since I've chosen to transition, I've traveled both before and after my legal name was changed, as well as before and after my ID photo was changed and my legal gender was changed.  Regardless of which trip it was and what the status of my documentation was at the time, the TSA has never made an issue of my gender or mis-gendered me.  I've also not had any issues with the scanners and I've used them at every airport where they are available (I believe Greenville/Spartanburg was the only airport that didn't have them when I was there).  I've read of issues where the TSA has made people go back through the scanners because they chose a wrong gender on their side, but I've not run into that either.  Now perhaps on those trips I've simply been "un-passable enough" that they chose the "male" button the first time through - I'd like to think that's not the case, but who knows.  Regardless I've always zipped right though with no additional pat-downs or other scrutiny.  And since it seems to come up quite a bit on Reddit and other forums, I've always had some sort of "breast enhancement" on - be it full size silicon forms, or more recently those little silicon "add a cup" enhancers and for the TSA it has always seemed to be business as usual.

The airlines have also been great, in fact the only time I've had anything close to an issue was when I was checking a bag one morning and I gave the person at the counter my ID which had my male name and picture on it and she assumed I had given her someone else's ID.  Now I'm sure she didn't give me a whole lot of scrutiny when she took my bag and then my ID as it was early and they were busy; but based upon her reaction both when I gave her the ID and after I told her it was *MY* ID, I have to assume that she read me as female from that initial look.  Once I did confirm it was my ID, it was business as usual going forward.  The one time I've had to rent a car went also went well despite it having been a good 8-10 hours after I had left the house that morning so my makeup was starting to show some wear.  Shuttle and cab service has also been fine for me.

In fact as I mentioned above, I really haven't had any real issues, and definitely not the kinds of ones that were in that article, save one.  And that has been that I have the same "bathroom concerns" that the woman who wrote the article has.  Now that my ID shows Madison and Female I don't worry quite as much as I did in the past, but I still think about potential problems.  Before the ID change I did my best to avoid bathrooms in public places when traveling.  Now I couldn't always do that, there were times when I really didn't have a choice, and in those cases I tried to get in and out as quickly as possible.  This really wasn't much different than how I approached public restrooms when being out with J or M - I always tried to get in and out, and usually one of them would either go with me or at least go before me to "check things out".  I'd like to say I was being too concerned, but even in hindsight I don't think so.  Better safe than sorry.  Now with my ID having been changed I don't worry nearly as much, although I still try and not dawdle in the restroom if I'm traveling.  Now around home, I really don't give it a second thought anymore and I don't hesitate to use the restroom just like any other woman would; so I guess I'm still making allowances when I travel, but I think I'm getting less and less concerned as time goes by.  However, I don't think those concerns will go completely away until I have SRS, but at least they're not top of mind anymore.

I think I've rambled enough now, so I'll stop here.  As always thanks for reading.

- M

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