During the 22 months or so since I chose to transition I've made sacrifices. Some of them have been financial as things such as laser hair removal and basically an entire new wardrobe aren't necessarily cheap. Some of them have been emotional as while I was never exactly a "social butterfly" before, it has left me a bit isolated. But those and any other sacrifices that I've made are things I accept as the "price of doing business" so to speak. I don't expect any sympathy for them, nor want any sympathy for them as they have come from a choice I (and J) made and I'm perfectly fine with that. Do I wish I could have done this with no sacrifices? Of course I do, but I don't dwell on them.
So I'm not really here to talk about those "self-sacrifices" that I've made or will make going forward; but rather those sacrifices that others have made for me. It's those sacrifices that remind me just how much certain people care for and about me. No matter how down a day I may have, and yes despite my usual chipper attitude in this blog, I do have down days; I can always take solace from all the love and support I have gotten and continue to get from others.
In some cases, it's simple little things like a couple of friends of ours inviting me (and/or J) out to dinner with them and treating me just like one of the group. We don't do it all that often as they only get together every so often and on occasions it's a day where I have other things going on that I have to take care of, such as the trip to see my HRT Doctor (90 minutes each way, plus the time to see her), or some other plans, but when I do get out with them it's a great reminder that despite my formerly anti-social behavior, that I do have at least a few people out there who consider me a friend and that means a lot.
In the same vein, the few times my extended family has included us family functions has been wonderful. The first one was very difficult for me to attend, in fact I struggle about it for a long time, up to the moment we pulled up to the hall where the party was to be. In fact, J and I drove past it several times while I debated if I really wanted to attend. We did, and I was glad I did. The same went with a post holiday Christmas get together. I struggled with going, but in the end I was glad we did.
So what are the sacrifices there? Well in the first case, probably not much of one. But it's the thought that counts. However, in the case of the extended family, apparently there was some sacrifice as some other family members (my brothers family, my sisters family, and my father) all elected not to show up and at least some of them had in fact committed to attend prior to me choosing to attend. Thankfully my Uncle stood his ground and made us welcome there, but considering it at least at the time alienated his own brother (my father) it was a sacrifice on his part that meant a lot to me.
But the bigger sacrifices come closer to home and those are from M and J. I could go on and on for a long time about the ones they have made and continue to make, but rather than do that, I feel it's better served to simply say how much those sacrifices mean to me and how appreciative I am for them. I do joke around with J that "I'm not allowed at her store" since she's never dragged me out there - at least not since she officially got promoted and transferred there. Now we did visit it while she was in training, but nobody knew who we were and I was dressed very androgynous at the time. But all joking aside, neither of the two of them bat an eyelash about taking me anywhere or pretty much doing anything for me. Some might think I should expect that, especially from J. Well I don't. I'm grateful for every little thing she does and never feel entitled to anything. In fact I believe that feeling entitled is a quick way to cause issues in any relationship. Once you feel entitled, it's really easy to take things for granted, and once you start doing that it becomes less of a loving and caring partnership and that in my opinion leads down a path that I will not ever go.
I think that'll do it for now, have a wonderful day.
- M
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