So Apparently "I'm The B*tch"....

I've sort of stewed on this for nearly a day now as sometimes I tend to write things when I'm still more emotional than I should be and I end up not being happy with what I wrote.  In this case, I've decided to go ahead and do so for two reasons.  The first being that the incident that is behind the topic was not an incident with J and I, but rather with me and someone else close to me (who shall remain nameless); and secondly being that while that incident is the basis for this post, the things behind the incident seem to happen to me - and I suspect many who may read this - far more often than they should.  With that out of the way...

I've talked once or twice before about the fact that J and I both are naturally very submissive and how that tends to get us sh*t on far more than we should and often by people who really shouldn't do so.  It doesn't make it right that it happens, but us being us - well we deal with it and move on.  At least most of the time we do, I'd finally had my fill of things coming from someone in particular yesterday and decided enough was enough.

I'm a firm believer in concepts such as "keeping your word", "you give what you give" and the "Golden Rule" - which for those that aren't familiar with that term is basically (paraphrased) "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you".  For me at least that doesn't mean that I truly expect reciprocity for anything nice I chose to do; but what I do expect is that when I'm nice to someone I don't expect to be sh*t on in return.  I think that's a reasonably good way to live and a fair expectation, but unfortunately far too many people didn't "get that memo".

In this person's case I do a *lot* for them, both just because as well as because they ask for this or that.  It is a person that in general I do like and that I do care about so I do those things because I chose to.  This person in general is a fairly decent person; although they are the kind of person who given a choice of doing the "right thing" or the thing that is "best for themselves" will often choose the latter and that is something I have a hard time dealing with as while I cannot sit here and say I never do what's "best for me", the overwhelming portion of the time I do in fact choose the "right thing".  And just to be clear I'm not really talking about things where the options are "the right thing that is also horrible for me" - that would be an easier things for me to deal with.  In case I'm not really clear, let me give a simple example:

This is the kind of person who would see a spill on the floor and could either "clean it up" or "ignore it" and they would most often choose the latter as they'd figure someone else would clean it up for them and they wouldn't have to do anything.  

Sounds trivial, doesn't it?  And in a vacuum it is, but consider the behavior when it applies to a vast majority of the interactions with this person.  And yes, before someone says it, I and/or J could choose to cut this person out of our lives and honestly at times that's been a consideration.  But despite the "body of work", I find it hard to do so as like I said above the incidents themselves are really mostly trivial taken by themselves and I do care about this person.

So yesterday I decided enough was enough.  I had done quite a few nice things for this person over the - well let's say about the last week.  I asked one incredibly small favor from this person.  Since they were going to be out and about and going to a particular store where I needed something - I asked them to pick it up for me.  I was clear on what I needed and gave them money in advance so they wouldn't have to "front me" - even though we were only talking about a couple dollars.  Well as it would be the person committed to taking care of it.  And yet, they "forgot" and didn't do it.  I might have been able to handle that on it's own, but instead of a simple "I'm sorry" or something, the person managed to try and blame it on me via some of the most creative logic I've ever heard.

I finally couldn't keep things inside any longer and let them have it pretty good.  There was some back and forth, but as is typical the person really didn't have any justifiable reasons for anything that I brought up.  Finally the best they could some up with was that I was a "b*tch".  I found that one amazing - I was a "b*tch" because I was finally tired of this person treating me like sh*t?  Really?

Well as I said I've thought about that for nearly a day now and you know what.  So be it.  If expecting to be treated at least reasonably decent makes me a "b*tch", well then I guess "I'm The B*tch" and I'm fine with that.  I will say that later on last night the person in question made an effort to smooth things over and me being me decided to accept what was meant as an apology; but despite that I will say that at least with this particular person - going forward the expectations are now different.  I don't expect them to suddenly become some different person, but I do expect some sort of effort and I will no longer just sit back and "take it" when they sh*t on me.  If they can't/won't make at least some effort then perhaps this person doesn't belong in my life and I hope it doesn't come to that, but I'd rather "be the B*tch" and take a stand over some of the sh*tty things people do to J and I, than to continue to be the doormats we so often end up being.

With that I think I'll wrap things up for now.

- M