Transgender Sex Drive

Sex has always been something I was more or less uncomfortable with.  My first orgasm occurred under what I would call less than optimal circumstances and it was a touch traumatic for me as my father did a poor job explaining things and this was of course pre-Internet so it's not like I could research things on my own.  My first sexual experience was at the ripe old age of 23 and resulted in the daughter I'm so proud of today so my indoctrination to things wasn't exactly off to a rousing start.  To this day I've had a total of 3 1/2 partners, which probably bears some explaining; but that's for another place and another time.  I approached sex as sort of an obligation and it probably contributed to the sorry state of my first marriage, but that marriage was doomed before it started anyway.

Now don't get me wrong, I love nothing more than to please my wife J, but as time has progressed the various medicines - both HRT and blood pressure medication - and I would assume my state of mind has made doing so in the "traditional" way pretty much out of the question.  While I think my lack of sex drive bothered her early in our marriage, once I started transitioning she seems to understand where I'm coming from (or not coming from I suppose) much better and we make do around that.

The real question in my mind lately is more what will happen when/if I do finally undergo SRS/GRS?  From a physical standpoint it seems that the vast majority of those that do are able to experience an orgasm; but I'm starting to wonder if I will.  Since going on HRT not only have the parts down south become less than responsive, but even my breast/nipple area seems far less sensitive.  I know there are plenty of cis-males who are easily aroused in that area and I was one of them; to the point that in some cases I could actually orgasm from only that kind of stimulation and yet now it does virtually nothing for me.

So when/if SRS/GRS happens, will the sex drive actually be there?  I'd like to think so; but if not I will be very disappointed.  I'll still be happy that my body will finally "match", but that's a huge cost financially, physically, mentally, and emotionally, to undergo for something that may be physically functional but in practicality useless.  I guess I should stop thinking about it as I always have more pressing matters that could use the attention, but I just can't get it out of my mind.

Sorry for the rambling on, I sort of fell of the wagon in posting here the last week and this seemed like a good topic to get me going again, but it didn't really flow out like I thought it would.

- M