I saw Dr. Swenson for the first time one year ago today and she (pleasantly) surprised me by starting me on HRT then and there. Now the appointment was later in the day and as she's 90 minutes from here so I didn't get back until later in the evening and I was so "excited" for lack of a better term we went to dinner to "celebrate" so I didn't end up getting my prescriptions until the following day, so technically I guess tomorrow marks one year; but since I've got time to write this today we'll go with that.
I had done my research prior to visiting her and knew the risks, effects - both reversible and non-reversible, and the expectations given my age. We discussed the best way to proceed, be it to dive right in or to start small and see what happened. Due to my age, and the other medications I'm on among other things we did decide to start slowly and build up. So I've been on Estradiol and Spirolactone (forgiven me if I don't have the names exact, I'm too lazy to go look for the correct spellings) since that time. Without getting into specific dosages I'm still below what is probably the "standard dosage" for a trans-woman (if there really is such a thing). I am on enough now that my estrogen level is in the 160-170 range which again is probably low based on my research; however, I do have definite breast growth along with the other "benefits" of the hormones and as I'm looking into having the Orchiectomy, we've elected to keep my dosages stable for now until that's done and then go from there.
However, none of that is really the basis for this post. Over the last few months - basically since my dosage went to it's current level; I've been far more emotional than before. A *lot* of crying especially. Now, I've seen conflicting information as to whether or not the hormones have an actual affect on that or not. I personally believe they do based on these few months. I may have shed a tear or two at a sad movie before for example, but now I'll sit and flat out cry like there's no tomorrow. Yesterday was really bad - I just had the urge to cry all day - for no particular reason. Every little thing that somebody said would upset me. Last night it came to a head - I must've spent a good half hour plus just bawling in my wife's arms - and for no real reason. Maybe it has nothing to do with the hormones; but I don't have any other explanation for it.
My wife, bless her heart, tries to convince me that it's "normal"; but I still wonder if it is or not. I was always independent and preferred to be left along, now I'm a "stage 5 clinger" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14ZO1b3T6jo for those that never saw "Wedding Crashers"). It works out well for my wife since she likes that sort of thing; but it's been a major adjustment for me.
I guess I should cut this short as I'm starting to lose my train of thought (work is getting in the way <G>), so we'll leave it at that.
- M
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Friday, December 6, 2013
Transgender Makeup - Part 2 - Makeup Thoughts
This is a long overdue follow-up post to this post (http://stltg.blogspot.com/2013/11/transgender-makeup-part-1-shopping-for.html) about Transgender Makeup shopping. This is more my thoughts and experiences with the various makeup I've used over the last 18 months or so and how it's worked. Obviously, your mileage may vary with any of these products. As there are a lot of products that I've tried there will be several more of these posts to cover everything so that none of them get too awfully long.
- Dermablend Cover Creme - As I've discussed more than once I have very heavy facial hair. The laser hair removal is helping quite a bit but there's still a lot there especially around my jawline; and in some cases the removal makes things worse as the spots where it's been successful are far lighter than spots where it hasn't and after a good shave they really stand out. I use the cover creme after putting on concealer where needed; but prior to any foundation - in my case this gives the foundation a better chance to do it's thing. Now I don't always wear it, if I'm in a real hurry I may skip it and it's not the end of the world if I do; but if I'm going to be out a significant amount of time I make a concerted effort to put this on as it really extends the time before my beard shadow becomes an issue.
It is so thick that's a bit of a pain to get on nice and evenly compared to foundation; but for what it does it's a small price to pay. I do use a regular foundation brush to put it on; but perhaps a sponge might be better - but I've yet to try that. It is a more expensive product, I normally pick it up at Ulta and it runs around $35 give or take. You can find it on Ebay a bit cheaper; but be careful as a lot of what's there are much smaller sizes so while it looks cheaper it may actually be more more expensive in the long run. When I first got mine, as embarrassing as it was at the time, I asked for help to match the shade of the Dermablend to my face. When you're paying $35 for a small container (granted it lasts a good while) - I thought it was important to get it right the first time rather than guessing. I actually went in looking androgynous rather than in full Madison look (I wasn't quite living "full-time" at the time) and the young lady that helped me was a bit taken aback at first, but quickly got over that and was *incredibly helpful*. Well worth a bit of embarrassment on my part to get her help to get it matched correctly the first time.
- CoverFX Foundation - I picked this up at Sephora a good while back as when "M" and I went in for our makeup lesson (which was more of a makeover, but still worthwhile) that's what the technician used. It's a powder style foundation which makes is actually easier for me to use than a liquid (although I now mostly use a liquid, but I'll get to that later). It does a good job on it's own and a very good job when paired with the cover creme above; but I don't think it's as good a match as it could be so I don't use it as much as I used to. Now I tend to use it when I'm in more of a hurry since it's not as thick as the liquid I generally use. It does go on nicely; again I use a foundation brush, but when it was applied at Sephora I believe they used a sponge on it. It does seem to last forever, that's one upside to spending a little more on makeup at places such as Sephora or M.A.C. - they really do last. I will say that "less is more" for the most part - even with what I need to cover up, I don't need a lot - in fact that's one of my failings as I often use way to much of it and have trouble blending it in well. Just like the Dermablend above, it's not exactly a cheap product, so if going to Sephora where I got this, I'd strongly suggest having them use their ColorIQ system to match the shade as closely as possible - they should also then offer to apply the selected shade for you right there so you can see it an ensure you are happy with it.
I hate to cut this short; but work calls. As I said there will be several more posts going forward dealing with this subject. As always thanks for reading.
- M
- Dermablend Cover Creme - As I've discussed more than once I have very heavy facial hair. The laser hair removal is helping quite a bit but there's still a lot there especially around my jawline; and in some cases the removal makes things worse as the spots where it's been successful are far lighter than spots where it hasn't and after a good shave they really stand out. I use the cover creme after putting on concealer where needed; but prior to any foundation - in my case this gives the foundation a better chance to do it's thing. Now I don't always wear it, if I'm in a real hurry I may skip it and it's not the end of the world if I do; but if I'm going to be out a significant amount of time I make a concerted effort to put this on as it really extends the time before my beard shadow becomes an issue.
It is so thick that's a bit of a pain to get on nice and evenly compared to foundation; but for what it does it's a small price to pay. I do use a regular foundation brush to put it on; but perhaps a sponge might be better - but I've yet to try that. It is a more expensive product, I normally pick it up at Ulta and it runs around $35 give or take. You can find it on Ebay a bit cheaper; but be careful as a lot of what's there are much smaller sizes so while it looks cheaper it may actually be more more expensive in the long run. When I first got mine, as embarrassing as it was at the time, I asked for help to match the shade of the Dermablend to my face. When you're paying $35 for a small container (granted it lasts a good while) - I thought it was important to get it right the first time rather than guessing. I actually went in looking androgynous rather than in full Madison look (I wasn't quite living "full-time" at the time) and the young lady that helped me was a bit taken aback at first, but quickly got over that and was *incredibly helpful*. Well worth a bit of embarrassment on my part to get her help to get it matched correctly the first time.
- CoverFX Foundation - I picked this up at Sephora a good while back as when "M" and I went in for our makeup lesson (which was more of a makeover, but still worthwhile) that's what the technician used. It's a powder style foundation which makes is actually easier for me to use than a liquid (although I now mostly use a liquid, but I'll get to that later). It does a good job on it's own and a very good job when paired with the cover creme above; but I don't think it's as good a match as it could be so I don't use it as much as I used to. Now I tend to use it when I'm in more of a hurry since it's not as thick as the liquid I generally use. It does go on nicely; again I use a foundation brush, but when it was applied at Sephora I believe they used a sponge on it. It does seem to last forever, that's one upside to spending a little more on makeup at places such as Sephora or M.A.C. - they really do last. I will say that "less is more" for the most part - even with what I need to cover up, I don't need a lot - in fact that's one of my failings as I often use way to much of it and have trouble blending it in well. Just like the Dermablend above, it's not exactly a cheap product, so if going to Sephora where I got this, I'd strongly suggest having them use their ColorIQ system to match the shade as closely as possible - they should also then offer to apply the selected shade for you right there so you can see it an ensure you are happy with it.
I hate to cut this short; but work calls. As I said there will be several more posts going forward dealing with this subject. As always thanks for reading.
- M
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