St. Louis Area TG Experiences - Part 2

This is a continuation of my first post (here: http://stltg.blogspot.com/2013/10/st-louis-area-tg-experiences.html) - it was getting very long and it was getting very late so I decided to break it into multiple parts.  Without further ado, here is part 2.

UPDATE:  Since the "prior" posts links were getting a bit long, there is now a page with links to all of the posts:  My Transgender Experiences.  Additionally, I've went back and added more links and made some updates to some of the individual entries below since over time some things have changed.

Services:

• Infinity Laser (Clayton, Missouri) - I've had five laser sessions on my face here.  A good friend of mine recommended them to me, and specifically Susanne and I've been nothing but happy.  They do have published pricing on their web site which is appreciated; although that is "flexible" as I've been paying more than my friend - but I do have a larger face/neck area and my hair is significantly thicker so I have no issue with that.  The pricing for me has been $249/session for the first five sessions; and now for the next two years it will be $149/session.  It's not "cheap", but I also didn't find it excessively expensive - and you do pay by the session which appealed to me as I didn't want to commit to a "package" like some places do.  After the first session I opted for the "numbing cream" which helps; although frankly I still find the process painful in some areas (specifically my jawline where the hairs are very dense).  The numbing cream is $49/tube and despite being told it generally only lasts two sessions, I've gotten four out of mine so for an extra $12/session it's been worth it.  They do keep the cream there with your name on it and you need to arrive early (in my case 1 hour) for them to apply it and it to take effect.  I plan on continuing the sessions for the foreseeable future; but will probably have to move to electrolysis at some point to finish up.
  
• Nail Pros (Wentzville, Missouri) - Definitely not as cheap as many nail places; but I love their work and have never had *ANY* issues in there.  While walk-in's are fine; I normally make an appointment so I can get Tonya.  I've seen some poor reviews on Yelp; but I've never been anything less than happy with the work, I just wish they were a little cheaper.

• Dr. Katherine Huhn-Usry (Tri-County Family Practice, O'Fallon, Missouri) - Dr. Huhn-Usry has been my GP for several years now and I have nothing but wonderful things to say about her.  She's been supportive of my transition and she even handles my blood work for my HRT with Dr. Swenson so I don't have to drive up to Columbia to take care of that.  There are two other Doctor's in the office - Dr. Hargraves and Dr. Usry (her husband).  I have seen both of them once each when Dr. Huhn-Usry was on vacation and while I liked Dr. Usry; I personally do not care for Dr. Hargraves - I find his "bedside manner" less than appealing; but obviously plenty of people do not share my opinion on that.
  
  UPDATE:  As of May 2015, I have elected to no longer utilize Tri-County Family Practice, and am instead seeing Dr. Swenson in Columbia as both my HRT Doctor as well as my GP.  This has nothing to do with Dr. Huhn-Usry herself as she was always wonderful to me; but rather the office in general.  For the last year or so, it has been very difficult to get into see her, or even either of the other two Doctor's in the office.  The final straw was back in May when we were told it was a three week wait and that we should go to urgent care instead.  While there, the urgent care personnel made some pointed comments about Tri-County and the "difficulty" they seemed to be having seeing patients.  It's a shame as they were so close and convenient and Dr. Swenson is 90 minutes away; but if I'm going to have to use urgent care in an emergency; I can do that anywhere and I might as well consolidate to one Doctor and since Dr. Huhn-Usry wasn't really receptive to handling my HRT a couple of years ago when I broached it, well it made the decision for me.  Again I think she's a wonderful Doctor and I'd recommend her to anyone, including those who are transitioning, but beware of the issues with getting appointments and the fact that they consistently ran anywhere from 30-90 minutes late on appointments.

Retailers:

• Wal-Mart (Wentzville Missouri) - Wal-Marts tend to be hit and miss based upon the time you go in as well as the personnel working; but I've never had a poor experience at this particular store, including using the dressing rooms which is sometimes hit or miss at other retailers.

• Payless Shoe Source (O'Fallon, Missouri, and Wentzville, Missouri) - My feet run a size 11 or 11 1/2 depending upon the shoe which is often a size above what most retailers carry.  Payless does carry a reasonable selection of shoes in my size(s) and personnel at both of these locations have been very polite and helpful as needed.

• Shop-n-Save (Dardenne Prarie, Missouri) - I cannot say enough about how polite, friendly, and helpful everyone in this store is.  I know that virtually all of my entries are positive - which is simply because almost all of my experiences have been that way - but this location is above and beyond virtually all of them and is where I try to do virtually all of my grocery shopping these days.

• Ulta (Chesterfield, Missouri) - My experiences have been very good here; with a couple of minor nitpicks on my part.  My first visit was to pick up some Dermablend Cover Creme.  My best friend took me out there with the intention of getting some help picking out an appropriate shade.  The young lady that helped us was initially a bit stand-offish for lack of a better term - but after a minute or two she got over it and did a wonderful job helping me pick out what I needed and even taking the time to show me how to apply it as well as a good primer.  The second nitpick was a later visit when I went in "androgynously" and at checkout when asked if I had one of their shopper cards I told the cashier I didn't.  She didn't offer to sign me up and I believe had if I had been a cis-woman she would have.  Minor nitpick I know and I could've asked I know; and the next time I was in dressed as Madison the cashier I had on that visit did get me signed up.  Overall, it's definitely not the same experience as Sephora or MAC, but I do continue to shop there and haven't had any significant issues.

• Beauty Brands (Wentzville, Missouri) - My experiences here fall in between Ulta and Sephora/MAC.  I think part of that is simply the culture of the chain - Sephora/MAC seem to be more "hands on" and Beauty Brands more of a browse by yourself place; but they've always been polite and helpful when asked and the first visit there even though I was also dressed androgynously they got me signed up for the frequent shopper program (which is partially why I was annoyed at Ulta).  I still prefer Sephora to all of them, but I do shop here on occasion.

Travel:

• TSA (Lambert Airport, St. Louis, Missouri) - I've read all sorts of horrible accounts of TSA treatment to non-TG people, much less TG people, so when I had to travel for work recently and decided to travel as Madison I was more than a little apprehensive about going through security.  My apprehension was totally without any merit.  The initial boarding pass check was done without so much as a question (my license still has my male photo on it) and the actual scanning was without incident.  I expected an additional "pat down" as I had on breast forms; but they took me right though without a second look.  In fact I was so apprehensive that I left my license and boarding pass on the tables prior to the baggage scanner and a very nice TSA woman found me on the other side to return them.

• Southwest Airlines Counter (Lambert Airport, St. Louis, Missouri) - The same trip as above, I had a checked bag and I always do that at the counter inside.  I won't call this an issue so to speak - I like to think it was simply because I passed so well; but I'm guessing it was more that she wasn't paying enough attention; but when I checked my bag and she asked for my ID in a reasonably loud voice she told me she needed to see <male name>'s ID - I quietly told her that it was in fact my bag and my ID and at that point she sent me on my way.  I wish she had been a little quieter about it; but if that's the worst that happened on the trip - well then I think it went well.

• Enterprise Rent A Car (Greenville/Spartanburg Airport, Greenville, South Carolina) - Same trip as above.  The young man who handled my car rental was completely professional despite the fact that again the car was reserved in my male name and my ID had my male picture.  I've never had anything but positive experiences with Enterprise and attempt to use them whenever I can.

I think this just about does it for now.  Obviously I've been to plenty of other places at this point; but these are the ones that stand out positively (or in some cases less than positively).  Going forward I'll document things in a more "real-time" manner.

St. Louis Area TG Experiences

As I mentioned in my welcome post, part of my intentions for this blog are to document some of the experiences - both good and poor - that I've had in the last 15 months (and going forward) as a transgender female in the St. Louis area.  Eventually I may simply start putting these into a document and linking to it in these entries; but for now they'll simply be a part of my posts and as this one will be lengthy I'll likely link back to it in future "updates".

I will be posting current experiences going forward as they happen; but there have been a lot of (almost all positive) experiences during those past 15 months that I feel like I should share.  Again, just because I've had a positive - or not so positive - experience with any of the people/businesses below does not mean anyone else will have the same experience and/or opinions.  These are simply my experiences and thoughts on them, please read/use them for what they are.  I've tried to provide locations for all of the entries here and websites for those that aren't "National Chains" since an experience at a single location does not necessarily indicate a company-wide ideology.

UPDATE:  Since the "prior" posts links were getting a bit long, there is now a page with links to all of the posts:  My Transgender Experiences.  Additionally, I've went back and added more links and made some updates to some of the individual entries below since over time some things have changed.

Websites:

• Susan's Place - As I mentioned in my welcome post, I have since deleted my account; however, it was an excellent resource for me early on.  I simply felt I didn't really "fit in" there for some reason and while there is a lot of activity there, a great deal of it falls into simple banter and/or "mutual feel-good" stuff.  For me personally, I'd rather get "honest" feedback on how I look, etc., and not simply hear "you look great" which is predominantly what goes on.  That being said, I would strongly suggest checking it out - you may not find it to your liking, but it can't hurt to at least take a look.

• Laura's Playground - I haven't spent a whole lot of time there, but it does seem to be a very good site and I did get the contact information for the Doctor I'm seeing for my HRT there.  Doesn't seem as busy as Susan's Place; but it also seems to have less "chatter" as well which some may prefer.

Services:

• Exquisite Threading (Clayton, Missouri) - I would HIGHLY recommend them for eyebrow threading.  I had heard that it was more painful than waxing; but my experience is that it's not; and not only are they incredibly friendly; it's a very quick process and the results are awesome.  I have naturally thick eyebrows with little or no arch and they manage to give me nice feminine eyebrows with at least some arch.  I never had results this good with waxing.  I cannot recommend them enough.  I believe their current price for threading is $12 (may be $1 more for a credit card); and if you get their punch card I believe every 7th one is free.

• Kelly Storck LCSW (Webster Groves, Missouri)  - I've been seeing Ms. Storck for the last 14 months or so - initially every other week, then once a month, now approximately every three months.  She's an excellent therapist with significant experience dealing with gender issues.  I've never really bought into therapy, but my time with Kelly has made change my views on that.  I couldn't imagine another therapist who could make me feel as comfortable as Kelly has, and she provided a very well written letter for my HRT as well as a "carry letter" to keep with me.

• Dr. Amanda Swenson (Green Meadows Clinic, Columbia, Missouri) - I obtained Dr. Swenson's information from the aforementioned Laura's Playground and I am incredibly happy with her.  I had obtained the names of several Doctor's familiar with HRT in the St. Louis area on my own; and Ms. Storck provided the names of a couple of more; but they were all male and I prefer seeing a female Doctor.  The fact that she is in Columbia was not an issue for me as I spent a year at Mizzou and am familiar with the town and while it's twice as far for me as downtown St. Louis, I find that I enjoy the drive.  They are incredibly efficient there - in fact if I lived closer I would probably try and see her as my GP as well; they've always referred to me as Madison even though up until two weeks ago that wasn't my legal name which meant a lot.  And I know it probably sounds silly, but the fact that on the initial paperwork they had a "Transgender" option under "Gender" instantly made me comfortable that they were familiar with dealing with Transgender issues.
  
  UPDATE:  Green Meadows Clinic has "closed".  The University of Missouri has opened a nice new building a few blocks down the street - the South Providence Medical Park - and the staff (most if not all) has moved down the street to this new building, including Dr. Swenson.  I detail this in the 12th entry in this series HERE).

• Susan Jacobsen (Attorney, Brentwood, Missouri) - Ms. Jacobsen assisted me with my legal name (and gender) change recently.  While no lawyer is "cheap", I found her rates very reasonable and her "bedside manner" has been wonderful.  She provides a free consultation, and when we discussed what I wanted she even took the time to explain that I could do all of it on my own if I chose.  Personally, I know people who have, but I was more comfortable with legal representation (I wouldn't overhaul my own engine or perform my own surgery either) and choose to utilize her services and couldn't be happier.  

Restaurants:

• Chevy's Fresh Mex (O'Fallon, Missouri) - Frankly this is one of my few poor experiences on this list.  The visit in question was about 14-15 months ago, right as I made the decision to transition.  My best friend and I had lunch with a good friend who is also transitioning herself.  It was one of my first times out as Madison so I was more than a little nervous as it was.  The three of us met for an early lunch on a Saturday and our server obviously took offense to us.  My best friend is a cis-woman, and the friend we met is virtually 100% passable, so I assume that it was me that offended the server's sensibilities. She was fairly rude and went out of her way to avoid our table despite the fact that we got there right at open and she only had one other table which she visited twice as often as ours.  We did complain to their "corporate" office and ended up receiving a call from the store manager who my best friend spoke with and came away with the feeling that he was simply calling so he could say he did and not because he really cared about our issues.  While this may have been an issue with our particular server; the conversation with the manager told me that this wasn't a business worthy of my patronage.  Again, this was simply my experience and it may well have been isolated; but there are plenty of places in the area to get Mexican food without the poor service we received at Chevy's.

• 54th Street Grill & Bar (Wentzville, Missouri) - I've had very good experience here and we love the food.  We often hit there after 9pm and (most of) their appetizers are $4.99 at that point.  In fact we visited there tonight, and the service was once again stellar as was the food.  I've probably been there 10 times as Madison and never had an issue with being correctly gendered or had any attitude like we had at Chevy's above.

• El Azteca (O'Fallon, Missouri) - We've only been there for their lunch buffet which is the only Mexican buffet I've ever been to.  The food has always been good and everyone has been incredibly polite and friendly.
  
  UPDATE:  It "appears" that they no longer do the lunch buffet which is a shame as it was quite good as far as buffets go.  We have NOT been there for a regular dine-in experience, though I'm sure we will in the future.

• China Buffet (Wentzville, Missouri - next to QuikTrip and Steak-n-Shake) - We've been here a significant amount of times with me as Madison and as with the above two entries never an issue.  It does seem that the employees take a little more "interest" in me than most restaurants; but not enough to bother me, so I just chalk it up to curiosity.

• Hibachi Grill & Buffet (St. Peters, Missouri - behind McDonald's at the Cave Springs exit) - Better food than the above buffet and less "interest" in me.  We simply don't go here as often as it is a bit more expensive; but the bigger reason is that the drive is about double the distance.  

Retailers:

• Sephora (West County Mall, St. Louis, Missouri, And Columbia Mall, Columbia, Missouri) - The first Sephora on this list is a stand-alone store; the one in Columbia Mall is inside of a J.C. Penny's store.  I had a "makeover" at the West County Mall location and the associate that did it was wonderful.  She took the time to explain what she was doing, why she was doing it, and answered all of my questions.  The makeover is "free" if you buy a certain amount of cosmetics (I know I bought way more than I needed to achieve that).  The Columbia Mall visit was to try out their ColorIQ foundation system.  Frankly it didn't work well for me - perhaps my skin was irritated from the shaving I had to do, or something else - but instead of leaving it at that, the young lady that assisted me (Jordan) took the time to manually find a foundation that matched wonderfully.  Once she did, she redid my face with the new foundation (you have to remove what you have on to use the ColorIQ) and again explained the techniques she was using and why she was and how she would do them personally (for example she used a sponge to apply it to me, but she recommended using my fingers when doing it myself).  I can't say enough about how wonderful and non-judgmental the store personnel at both locations have been.  Their stuff isn't cheap; but it's generally worth the investment and the treatment I get is simply icing on the cake.

• MAC (Plaza Frontenac - Frontenac, Missouri) - I initially visited here for help in picking out a neutral lipstick I could wear when I first started to transition.  A wonderful young lady (Kimmy) went above and beyond to help me pick out an appropriate shade as well as showing me how to apply it via a brush versus directly from the tube (not to mention teaching me about and how to use lip liner).  I'd probably visit here more often; but West County mall is more appealing to me than Plaza Frontenac - it's not an indictment of Sephora over MAC - I consider them both to be great places to shop - both for TG and non-TG people.

• Deb (St. Louis Outlet Mall, Hazelwood, Missouri, And Mid Rivers Mall, St. Peters, Missouri) - I have had nothing but great experiences at both locations.  While I am losing weight, I'm still good sized and they have plenty of attractive options that fit and again everybody has been incredibly polite and helpful.  While the styles are probably a little "young" for my age; it's simply my favorite place to shop for clothes.
  
  UPDATE:  Deb Shops closed their retail presence several months ago which is a huge shame as it was one of my favorite retailers.  In the interim they apparently have re-opened an online presence of some sort, though I have not tried that as I prefer to purchase clothing in person.

It's really late, so I'm going to cut this off here; but I'll post a "part 2" of this list in the next day or two.

Welcome and about me. :)

I'm a 43 year old Transgender woman in the general area of St. Louis, Missouri.  I'm happily married to a wonderful woman and have a daughter that means the world to me.  I've got a job that I really like; albeit one that is not very supportive of my gender transition.

The decision to transition was made about 15 months ago; although it's something I've thought about for at least 25 years - something was always in the way.  With my daughter grown now and both her and my wife being supportive, everything sort of came together last year.  I've been seeing a gender therapist for the last 14 months, and have been on HRT for approximately 10 months; although only recently on significant dosages.  Facial hair removal is ongoing, currently via laser - although eventually that may switch to electrolysis to finish up.  I've been living "full-time" for 6-12 months depending upon the definition of "full-time" - I consider it closer to the 12 as that's when I got rid of all of my "male" clothes; although for a few months I tended to "present androgynously" at times.  I recently went to court and my name has been legally changed to "Madison", I'm now waiting on my birth certificate and actual license (the State of Missouri issues a temporary paper one and mails you the actual one sometime later).  Upon receiving those (well at least the license), I can proceed with changing my name on things such as our home, cars, credit cards, etc.

I think that probably paints enough of a picture of me.  My intentions for this blog are two-fold.  The first is to have sort of a "diary" of my life as it is and secondly to document my experiences at businesses as a transgender woman.  This forum may not be an ideal place for the latter; but until I'm certain I can be committed to this blog I figure that it will have to do.  

As far as the "diary" portion, I was posting to a "blog" on Susan's Place - it is a great resource for Transgender, etc., I just never felt overly comfortable there - sort of like I didn't fit in.  I'm not sure why, I just felt that way so I recently deleted my account and decided to go this route instead.

Regarding the "experiences" part, I will be posting experiences as I go along as well as sprinkling in posts about the experiences I've had the last 15 months.  Obviously just because I had a good/poor experience doesn't mean that anybody else will have the same; but I for one have greatly appreciated the fact that others have done the same and I want to provide mine in the event that even a single person finds them helpful or educational.

I think that's enough for a first entry and it's getting late, so I'll let it go at this.  Thanks for reading.

Madison